so I put my personal life on the internet via facebook, twitter, blogs etc to share with my friends by giving out the URL in standard unicode.
I have absolutely no idea that millions of strangers possibly in all ages from anywhere imaginable at all, would be able to chance on them and start making nervously vulgar comments on my tagboard which I made available voluntarily.
angered and embarrassed, I threatened to report this to the local law enforcement agency to which I have absolutely no contribution to yet because I am still underaged but I know they would be there for me just by virtue of being.
I then type out lines of threats such as "police report made" and dare the perpetrators to leave their names even though I know that's impossible. I continued by vowing to focus on shutting down their popular internet sites.
I then engage "hackers" to trace their IPs and contact the respective ISP to reveal their information even though they have not breached any law other than harassment on a space not governed by pretty much anyone or anything.
did I win?
Friday, 19 February 2010
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
year of the tiger
happy lunar new tiger year! after watching so many lol-tune tellers saying things like "you should wear red more often even during funerals. and always wipe your ass after going to the toilet even if you were just washing hands.", here's my prediction after consulting my plate of the Supreme Heaven Twirling Bee Hoon.
for those born in the year of ...
Rat
not a good year for you. in fact not a good year every year coz you are just a stinky drain-dwelling nocturnal which are treated as pests. or if you are lucky, you be featured as mutated hairy squeaks which drops useless junks in most video games.
Ox
ever since global warming has become a world issue, you bulls have a dog's life. they are blaming your flatulences as a major contributing factor and I know for sure 2 guys named ben and jerry gonna try some needle research up your udders so as to reduce some of that. stop mooing and start roaring already in this stupid cat year.
Tiger
after a year of bull (shit), it's now your turn. to do what? run for your lives idiots. rich dudes all over the world are like decorating their houses with your lice-laden pelts and even a local mag featured a local celebrity draped in that stinky shit. there's no such thing as year of the tiger.
Rabbit
our dear PM is worried that singaporeans don't like feline children so they are like waiting for another year before doing it like rabbits. for now just lie low and use protection. and I don't mean guns.
Dragon
what? u prefer to have wings like your western brethrens? and those gay looking eyes? what the hell for? it doesn't matter coz you are going to get slain in all those video games in all the 2D and 3D glories anyway. but hey it won't be that bad coz people always say "got dragon got tiger". hope your stupid cat friend can look out for you.
Snake
no I don't want no damn apples from no tree of knowledge. it's mandarin orange season and you want to sell me apples? have a better marketing strat please.
Horse
if you are like me who watches those NatGeo and Animal Planet channels, you know that horses and tigers don't get along. stop horsing around and start kicking some hairy cat butts.
Goat
like the damn long faced horses, you better get your act together this year coz the tiger who is your boss in your office will not give you good grass but cat shit to paddle and wade through. start acting like the peons you are.
Monkey
"the tiger is your big brother this year". the year of the ox is already over and people are still sprouting bullshit. have you ever seen a tiger and a monkey hanging out? yeah maybe when you see a stupid-looking ang kong siao with a scrawny stupid-looking emo kid walking together along orchard road. hardly the matching pair. watch your back before he tears your pinkish butt a new reddish asshole.
Rooster
every year, people all over the world goes through tonnes of chicken parts bearing names like KFC and popeyes. popular yes. fortunate? not quite. start crowing your way out of the deep fryer.
Dog
if you are female, stop bitching and if you are a guy, tell that bitch to stop bitching. start pissing and dumping crap at the right place and do bark at your owner if they are not wiping your ass with kleenex.
Pig
I don't understand why on God's green earth would anyone want to say, "hey let's take away the pig so that our muslim brethrens would not be offended." R McD decided that would be the way to go but come on, it's 2010 and not 1010. people here don't care liao lah. as long as your burgers stop shrinking and your dumb toys look cute, these tropical drones will still queue up to throw money your way.
do you want me to start on the gemini tigress who was born at 4pm in the crowded KK hospital afternoon?
for those born in the year of ...
Rat
not a good year for you. in fact not a good year every year coz you are just a stinky drain-dwelling nocturnal which are treated as pests. or if you are lucky, you be featured as mutated hairy squeaks which drops useless junks in most video games.
Ox
ever since global warming has become a world issue, you bulls have a dog's life. they are blaming your flatulences as a major contributing factor and I know for sure 2 guys named ben and jerry gonna try some needle research up your udders so as to reduce some of that. stop mooing and start roaring already in this stupid cat year.
Tiger
after a year of bull (shit), it's now your turn. to do what? run for your lives idiots. rich dudes all over the world are like decorating their houses with your lice-laden pelts and even a local mag featured a local celebrity draped in that stinky shit. there's no such thing as year of the tiger.
Rabbit
our dear PM is worried that singaporeans don't like feline children so they are like waiting for another year before doing it like rabbits. for now just lie low and use protection. and I don't mean guns.
Dragon
what? u prefer to have wings like your western brethrens? and those gay looking eyes? what the hell for? it doesn't matter coz you are going to get slain in all those video games in all the 2D and 3D glories anyway. but hey it won't be that bad coz people always say "got dragon got tiger". hope your stupid cat friend can look out for you.
Snake
no I don't want no damn apples from no tree of knowledge. it's mandarin orange season and you want to sell me apples? have a better marketing strat please.
Horse
if you are like me who watches those NatGeo and Animal Planet channels, you know that horses and tigers don't get along. stop horsing around and start kicking some hairy cat butts.
Goat
like the damn long faced horses, you better get your act together this year coz the tiger who is your boss in your office will not give you good grass but cat shit to paddle and wade through. start acting like the peons you are.
Monkey
"the tiger is your big brother this year". the year of the ox is already over and people are still sprouting bullshit. have you ever seen a tiger and a monkey hanging out? yeah maybe when you see a stupid-looking ang kong siao with a scrawny stupid-looking emo kid walking together along orchard road. hardly the matching pair. watch your back before he tears your pinkish butt a new reddish asshole.
Rooster
every year, people all over the world goes through tonnes of chicken parts bearing names like KFC and popeyes. popular yes. fortunate? not quite. start crowing your way out of the deep fryer.
Dog
if you are female, stop bitching and if you are a guy, tell that bitch to stop bitching. start pissing and dumping crap at the right place and do bark at your owner if they are not wiping your ass with kleenex.
Pig
I don't understand why on God's green earth would anyone want to say, "hey let's take away the pig so that our muslim brethrens would not be offended." R McD decided that would be the way to go but come on, it's 2010 and not 1010. people here don't care liao lah. as long as your burgers stop shrinking and your dumb toys look cute, these tropical drones will still queue up to throw money your way.
do you want me to start on the gemini tigress who was born at 4pm in the crowded KK hospital afternoon?
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
15 years
the other day, I was walking along this concrete path on my way home. then I witnessed what seemed like a 3 on 2 fight. it wasn't a gentlemen's duel or dance off those kinda thing. but more like teens who can't stand each other's tee shirt or something.
of coz I looked but didn't stay around for too long coz I can't wait to go home to my computer playing my favourite Romance of the Three Kingdoms 2.
oh wait, that was like 15 years ago. this piece of memory stuck on my head like glue on more glue. maybe coz its like one of the 1st fights among sissies I saw. or maybe it was just so.
The incident happened in Ngee Ann Poly and it was along this sheltered walkway I usually take to go home. fast forward 15 years today, the walkway is gone. half of what I can remember about the campus is not there anymore. the scenary is just so different that I no longer feel I was from ngee ann poly.
realization: things do move on and it's good for them and the students. the environment looks tons better. even the library entrance looks great and inviting. hahaha.
I just wish these funny and fond memories would stay with me for another 15. adulthood can suck bad sometimes.
of coz I looked but didn't stay around for too long coz I can't wait to go home to my computer playing my favourite Romance of the Three Kingdoms 2.
oh wait, that was like 15 years ago. this piece of memory stuck on my head like glue on more glue. maybe coz its like one of the 1st fights among sissies I saw. or maybe it was just so.
The incident happened in Ngee Ann Poly and it was along this sheltered walkway I usually take to go home. fast forward 15 years today, the walkway is gone. half of what I can remember about the campus is not there anymore. the scenary is just so different that I no longer feel I was from ngee ann poly.
realization: things do move on and it's good for them and the students. the environment looks tons better. even the library entrance looks great and inviting. hahaha.
I just wish these funny and fond memories would stay with me for another 15. adulthood can suck bad sometimes.
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