released from collection

day 1 of official release from collection part of work. don't exactly feel proud because I am not sure if its because my employer don't trust me anymore.

he say he is releasing me of that because so that I can concentrate on administrative work. I can only take those words as verbal agreement and not think so deep.

part of me is glad but part of me is doubtful. I guess I have to now show my worth.

like my wise wife said. amen.

remove and replace

in chapter 7 of growing deep in God by pst Ed Chan. its true. we always say we don't have time to pray and yet we can have time to sleep more, do work, watch tv and do the "unproductive" things.

I stay on the internet, and for too long at times. a whole world wide web of knowledge and I read humour sites with loads of sarcasm, discovery science page and now even spending part of the time on an online game that crashes every now and then. I am even spending 15-30 mins a day to write posts.

I totally agree and is sold to the notion that prayer is a very important part of a christian. I really want to start.

a life of prayer

was reading pst ed chan's book while waiting for wife to knock off. glad I went earlier.

pst ed chan believes very strongly in prayer and rightly so. all great men of God all had a life of prayer. Jesus had one. its almost all about prayer.

its so intuitive and so obvious. and yet, I am not even willing to pray while lying down right before sleep.

time to change lifestyle? painful but necessary.

so is life back?

starting to get into the momentum of things. had a fruitful and productive week. mood is better. and a relief to hear that brother can go back to prev employer no probs.

physical ailments mostly gone. just some minor skin marks and sniffles. nothing a good sleep over the weekend can't cure.

a quarter of the year has gone and things are progressing slowly but surely. encouraging and yet not without a sense of urgency.

I hope this sense of positivity can stay.

operation: get life back

1) can't-taste-any-food flu. coughed up a HUGE amount of greenish yellow phlegm and now my lungs feel like a 10 year old, who had been eating too much fried food. but it's a start!

2) itchy-like-**** ringworm. improving since the doc's prescription a week ago. doesn't itch anymore and my leg never looked better since last year.

3) miss-my-dearie fever. had a talk well into the night disrupting sleeps but felt fruitful. hope things will improve enough for us to celebrate with german food soon! yay!!

4) pain-pain backache. aka been-a-problem-way-too-long back spasm. not much improvement but panaflex extra been great.

5) any other non physical but equally damaging problems. God, please tell me what to do.

God help!!

ironically funny that I said on monday that a certain person needed divine help, and now I am crying for it myself. and even as I am writing this post, "who doesn't need divine help?".

the problem with human being is we don't seek God often enough. God have to come and break us and/or everything that matters before we run to Him and say, "ok here I am with my problems which I can't solve by my own strength. help, please?".

God, here I am with my problems which I can't solve by my own strength. Help me, please. Amen.

the worst prayer in the world yes but I am desperate.

at the end of it all

I wonder what's all these about? I mean falling sick, grappling with crap generated by other people, taking in crap from customers who dishes them out at 30kg/minute
(yeah they full of those bio stuffs).

here I am stewing in a pool of "character-building", while some others are standing at the edge throwing rocks of "lols" at you. people you actually cared about.

yes these things are part and parcel of the little race called life. but at this point of time, I just feel like I want to call time-out and perhaps run on the cooler and greener sides of the track.